Whiskey River Soap Co. LLC
Whiskey River Happy Hour Pencils
$12.99
POUR ME ANOTHER, PLEASE. Ahhh, it’s finally that magical time of the day again: when you can put all your office woes aside and crack open a cold one. Or twelve. Here’s to another chance to find the answers to life’s questions at the bottom of a bottle. So what if it’s only 10 AM, who says happy hour has to start at five, anyway? Just don’t tell...
Whiskey River Introverts Pencils
$12.99
PEOPLE SUCK. That’s why you prefer to stay inside with your stuffed animal collection. But sometimes it’s a little hard to admit that in public. So we’ve carefully crafted a few extremely plausible excuses to get you out of all those pesky social obligations. Like happy hour. Your niece’s school play. Office parties. Your wedding. Introvert E...
Whiskey River It's Fine Air Freshener
$6.99
It's Fine Know what stinks? Not you! Now that you have your very own candle air freshener to haul around with you, people will quit pinching their noses and running for the hills. Hopefully. You still have to occasionally bathe, you know. Plain Tap Water Scented Double-sided full-color air freshener measures 3 1/2″ x 3″ H; comes with nylon ha...
Whiskey River It's Only Frickin' Tuesday Air Freshener
$6.99
Uggggggh... How is it only TUESDAY? It’s been a full year since the work week started. I swear I can feel each individual cell in my body slowly dying to the beat of that annoying wall clock. And Glen in the next cubicle. Ghod. If he doesn’t stop loudly smacking his gum and clicking his pen like some kind of deranged one-man band hoping for a re...
Whiskey River Kill Candle
$14.99
Who Would You Rather... Fuck, Marry, Kill?Kill Candle Fuck, Marry, Kill, as described by Wikipedia (sorry, teachers), is a popular social forced-choice question and answer game that has existed for decades. In the game, one person poses three names, typically either names of people in their personal lives, or names of celebrities. The other pers...
Whiskey River Liquid Hand Soap Fake News
$15.99
Fake News! Washing hands is dumb! I'll never believe anything you say about these so-called invisible germs! Science isn't real! And why am I always getting sick? Clean TangerineNet Weight: 8 oz.All-natural, organic, vegan liquid castile soap scented with essential oil bottled in amber glass. Not tested on animals© 2020 Whiskey River Soap Co.
Whiskey River Liquid Hand Soap Silently
$15.99
Silently Judging! Yes, I'm silently judging you for not washing your hands. Dirtball. Lemon LoserNet Weight: 8 oz.All-natural, organic, vegan liquid castile soap scented with essential oil bottled in amber glass. Not tested on animals© 2020 Whiskey River Soap Co.
Whiskey River Little White Lies Pencils
$12.99
OMG, Crossfit? YES. I looooove working out. If I could, I would do it 24/7. It’s just that I have all these obligations and such since I took that sabbatical from work. Oh, yeah, technically they called it “fired” but I was going to take a creative break anyway. And I LOVE my free time! I mean, I don’t really have any, of course, and that’s why ...
Whiskey River Low Self-Esteem Pencils
$12.99
CHEER UP, SILLY PENCIL! X Body text XLife’s not so bad. There are still plenty of us out there who like you: elementary school kids, golfers, artists, and uhhh… did I say schoolchildren already? But hey, things could be worse. I mean, who wants to be a crayon, right? So hold your head high, humble pencil. You’ll always have a place in our hearts...
Whiskey River Marry Candle
$14.99
Who Would You Rather... Fuck, Marry, Kill?Marry Candle Fuck, Marry, Kill, as described by Wikipedia (sorry, teachers), is a popular social forced-choice question and answer game that has existed for decades. In the game, one person poses three names, typically either names of people in their personal lives, or names of celebrities. The other per...
Whiskey River Midlife Crisis Pencils
$12.99
WHO SAYS EXISTENTIAL DREAD CAN'T BE FUN? Congratulations, you’ve made it to middle age! All those years of being “financially responsible” means you can finally buy a motorcycle and the bitchin’ leather jacket to match. Or maybe a year-long silent meditation retreat is more your speed. Either way, you’ve earned it, after all. At least that’s wha...
Whiskey River Okay Moms Air Freshener
$6.99
Okay Moms Know what stinks? Not you! Now that you have your very own candle air freshener to haul around with you, people will quit pinching their noses and running for the hills. Hopefully. You still have to occasionally bathe, you know. Sippy Cup Wine Scented Double-sided full-color air freshener measures 3 1/2″ x 3″ H; comes with nylon han...
